Sex and the city...

Carrie: People say 'Everything happens for a reason.'
These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up.
It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,'
But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.

mom called the other day...

"What happen to my cheerful daughter? i miss my daughter... why is she always crying now?"

it's not a matter of life or death so stop making mom worried... stop having the thought of wasting time and money and gave up my future. to be honest, mom ask me to go back for good cause she is upset tht i was unhappy here. i was thinking of it and also looking for uni or courses where i can continue my studies or if it's worse i'll just forget bout my degree and just start looking for a job...

i think and think these 2 nights... and i know thats not what i want out of life. i remembered wht i wanted to do after i graduate... and i do want to graduate.

what happens happens... if it's out of control and u tried your best and its still nothing u can do about it i guess that should be it.
but no matter what happens... who disagrees... i am getting my own dog for sure and tht lil one will be with me no matter wht.. if i go back for good tht dog will go back with me... if i am working elsewhere in future the dog will be with me. i cant wait till next year when i come back!

Sugar will be her name=)
she will be a pudding looking dog... hopefully she will be as cute as pudding baby! =)

ok... i am having a week break which is filled with work... wish me luck=) night ppl=)

just when i was saying tht i want a dog here... just when i say i needed to do something to clam my emotions down....

i became so paranoid at evry single thing now... every little thing that happen to me which will affect my life, even a small tiny matter can almost stop me from breathing...

i found out last night that my dear father has once again left my house gate open and one of my dog was found missing...
i've lost my Beebee...
no one at home tell me anything about my missing lil' bee... no one told my mom either which is now in a trip with friends in China now... i found out yesterday and i was lost for a moment...

this is not the first time... not the first time i lost a dog... nobody knows how hard i felt... this time... i really dunno how to face this situation... how can something so 'special' just kept happening to my family? this reminds me of the times when Brownie and Booboo went missing... and also sammy... then i ask myself to look at the bright side and think of how Sammy was found back after 3 months... but, i know it wont always be so lucky...

i became more and more emotional lately... it became harder for me to control myself... or my temper... i threw my biggest temper i've ever threw in 9 months at him the other day... i threw the dishes and chipped my favorite mug... i actually scare myself doing such thing as well...

its so hard to ask myself not to think negative as i always think good things just dont come easily... i suspect that every good thing that is happening to me will be turning bad soon... and i really dont know what to do...

i so wanted to call mom now and talk to her but i know if i call her i will start crying and the news of missing dog will spilled out. Mom has just recovered from depression... i duwan to spoil her holiday... pluss i am worried that she will be worried of me as well... i made her worry more then enough...

so many unpredicted things happened to me after my holidays... everything wasnt the same anymore when i came back here... i began to recall what my good ole friend Cheri once told me about her situation when she is in Queensland... i can feel her now...
since i came melb.. i have all the freedom i want... i do whatever i want... but i think i have too much of those... call me a spoilt brad but i reeli wanna go home now and just be mom and dad's daughter... i dun feel like stayin here anymore... there is too many things which i needed to handle and i knew myself well tht i cant do it anymore longer...

i remember... when i first came here...
i came here and stayed with my bestie... and things didnt went well somehow and ended up we became just friend... i remember as well when i first came here i screw my relationships life so so so badly... and then talk about coming here to study, i didnt do very well as well even when i passed everything... and then i promise mom and dad tht i wont be too attached to pudding as well when they let me take care of pudding but ended up being too attached to pudding... and now even worse... i ended up not being only too attached to pudding... but to latte as well... and also to keith... any slight thing tht happen to one of them now i will be so paranoid...

wht else can i do?
things wont go well either if i go back for good... i know as well long distance wont work for us... and wht am i gonna do if i get back? where to study wht to do? only one thing for sure... tht i will be safe back home... or at least i feel safe...

sAbbie... pls... pls pls... try harder... to be strong...
pls pls pls... try harder to believe...

i was walking around the city with cherrie today while waiting for keith to finish class...

i saw a old man sitting in Witchery falling asleep...
he reminds me of my dear ole daddy at home who always fall asleep outside a shop or in the shop while waiting for mom and i finish doing our shopping...
i miss daddy... i miss mummy... and i miss home...

i cant wait to go home again... i have so much assignments due soon... and i am so far behind! i'm spending my friday night doing work with pudding and latte on my lap to keep me warm and lil truff chewing on the big bone while waiting for keith to finish playing badminton with the others...

sigh... everything seems to still look fine... but i am still feeling lost somehow...
i went for a body check up tht day... did a heart scan and blood test... everything seems ok as well...
wht should i do to calm myself down?


pudding will be leaving soon again... i am so so upset bout tht... latte still stays with me most of the time...
but... i reeli wish i could have my own dog... my dog... i am still convincing my parents...

hmmm... i've been trying to blog everytime when i have free time... but it's so hard because facebook is so so addictive... keith and i has been concentrating most of our free time on facebook... hmmmm=( oh well... lazy to blog today... pls add me in facebook cause i am going to blog less now... heheh... add me at my msn email=)

hmmmm... i have some pictures though...=)